[ Because hi, Wade, if he's looking at you he can kill you. Also why are you slapping books, what did the werewolf porn do to you besides hit you in the face?]
Really? [Wade looks around them, then gives Scott a skeptical eye.] So you're telling me you would use your not-laser eyes in the middle of an apartment complex and risk blowing a hole through how many walls and maybe killing how many people, just to stop me from choking you?
That might be something I would do. But I thought you were more careful than that. So seems to me like I've got a bit of an advantage here.
I just got out of jail. I appreciate your faith in my self-control but Logan won't 'let' his submissives spar with me because he's afraid I'll lose my shit and kill them - and he isn't wrong.
[ So yeah. He might. He wouldn't feel good about it after, but he really might. ]
That's complicated. He is. But he isn't. Days of Future Past, man. Days of Future Past...
[He's probably not making sense. Or maybe he is? Which would be frankly more disturbing.]
Our world was one way. In the first, I was fighting in Vietnam with Logan and Sabertooth and then getting my mouth sewn shut. Then timey-wimey bullshit then you get me instead! Like this. Mouth open and flapping and born in the 70's rather than fighting in them. Not sure what Pyro is doing in my timeline now though. Could be he's not even born yet.
[ It doesn't make sense until it does. Scott understands time related bullshit -- probably too well.
So: ]
Close enough.
John keeps calling me a 'goody two shoes' and a suck-up who taught auto-shop. I recognize the guy he's talking about. From a time before we had students crucified on the lawn. From before we tried to remove ourselves to an island, and an attack by Trask wiped sixteen and a half million mutants out. From before we tried again and the fucking Avengers stormed a new island and a new beach and tried to kidnap my granddaughter.
From the point where I still believed 'peaceful coexistence' with humans was possible.
If you want high minded morals ... talk to Logan, it's his turn to be the good guy.
[That's a lot of shit to process. A fucked up metric ton of shit. He's no idea what to say, but finds his lips moving anyway.]
The X-men from my world... I was trying to join them. Most of you wouldn't give me the time of day. Colossus was trying. So he took me out on a mission. There was this kid. Russell. Firefist.
[Stupid fucking name.]
He was losing his shit at the orphanage where he was raised. Those mutant hating fucks were abusing him. And the police there were about to make him go back. Just slap a power restraining collar on him and send him right on back...
So, I shot one of those fucking pedophiles right in the head and the X-men let both of us get sent to the Ice Box. Do you know what happens when I get a power restraining collar put on me? I die. Slowly. Painfully.
[As much as he likes Colossus, that did really hurt. How easy it had been for him to allow that. Even if it had been what Wade wanted at the time.]
[ Scott sighs, not even aware he's done so. Not like he's shocked by any part of that story - at all - but more that he's just tired.
Also aware he's being pretty unfair to Logan - not like Logan's stupid or idealistic, just maybe found some hope again on that island. It's complicated. ]
Yeah. That kind of thing. Over and over and over again. I know exactly what's those people are thinking and why. I just... don't have the capacity anymore.
[ No win, though, because he definitely hates who he is now. And who he was. Does have a Plan if Deadpool ends up with his powers completely turned off, though. ]
I guess I never had the capacity. [Even if wanted to have it sometimes. Wade waffles back and forth with that idea of trying, mainly whenever Colossus gave him his stupid metal doe eyes.]
I didn't want a family. Vanessa made me believe I could... and I was selfish enough to believe her and start to want it too, despite the world being shit.
[And now she's dead. There's the others, his new F-word. Cable, Domino, Colossus, NTW, Yukio, Russell, and hell Dophinder and Weasel too. But she'd been his dreams.]
You realized what you just said was the you believed in it, and then stopped. There's nothing wrong with that. So did I - repeatedly - but that doesn't mean you're not capable and never have been.
[ Also he's pretty sure after what happened with Cable - and his own dad - he just. He'd be such an absolute shit parent. He's not doing that to a kid. Beyond the kids he already has or had, in some other universe or otherwise. ]
I guess... [Is this like a pep talk now? He's very confused.]
Regardless. I think what I was trying to say is I'm not sure I have the capacity to maintain being a Hero™. Capitalized and trademarked. Whatever the fuck being a hero even means. I keep fooling myself into trying. Because it does sound like a nice ideal, but fuck. Sometimes people just need to be dead and being the bigger person is stupid.
[ The phrasing of that gets a (groggy) laugh out of him, because it's just so.... blunt and crude.
It's also not untrue.]
Yeah. Letting people live is sometimes really tactically unsound, and probably not even all that moral. Still a lot more comfortable than the alternative, but sometimes you've just got to do what needs to be done.
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I would have tried to stop you?
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I said what I said. With your lack of sleep, your reaction times have to be taking a hit, that's all I'm saying....
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[ What is happening. Why is it happening? Is he actually bothered by it?
He doesn't know. ]
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I can move quickly when I need to.
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Yeah, and when is that?
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[Fine, if he wants to argue. So be it. He slaps the book back on the nightstand for emphasis.]
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[ Because hi, Wade, if he's looking at you he can kill you. Also why are you slapping books, what did the werewolf porn do to you besides hit you in the face?]
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[Now Wade is absolutely just goading him, curious to see what he'll do and looking pretty smug about it too.]
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[Because.
Well.
It is. ]
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That might be something I would do. But I thought you were more careful than that. So seems to me like I've got a bit of an advantage here.
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[ So yeah. He might. He wouldn't feel good about it after, but he really might. ]
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Just sleep more, alright?
And then we won't have to find out if I do try to choke you out if you'll blast my head off for it. We can leave that question happily unanswered.
[The possibility wouldn't stop him trying it, if it came down to it. Considering Wade's own lack of concern for himself.]
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[ Meaning he'll try. That reaction didn't go unnoticed, though, so a little more tentatively, moving to sit on the edge of the bed- ]
Have you met Pyro here?
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[That seems like a complete non sequitur, but now he's curious.]
Why?
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Did you talk to him enough to know if he's from the same reality as you? Or a similar one?
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[He's probably not making sense. Or maybe he is? Which would be frankly more disturbing.]
Our world was one way. In the first, I was fighting in Vietnam with Logan and Sabertooth and then getting my mouth sewn shut. Then timey-wimey bullshit then you get me instead! Like this. Mouth open and flapping and born in the 70's rather than fighting in them. Not sure what Pyro is doing in my timeline now though. Could be he's not even born yet.
crucifixion?
So: ]
Close enough.
John keeps calling me a 'goody two shoes' and a suck-up who taught auto-shop. I recognize the guy he's talking about. From a time before we had students crucified on the lawn. From before we tried to remove ourselves to an island, and an attack by Trask wiped sixteen and a half million mutants out. From before we tried again and the fucking Avengers stormed a new island and a new beach and tried to kidnap my granddaughter.
From the point where I still believed 'peaceful coexistence' with humans was possible.
If you want high minded morals ... talk to Logan, it's his turn to be the good guy.
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The X-men from my world... I was trying to join them. Most of you wouldn't give me the time of day. Colossus was trying. So he took me out on a mission. There was this kid. Russell. Firefist.
[Stupid fucking name.]
He was losing his shit at the orphanage where he was raised. Those mutant hating fucks were abusing him. And the police there were about to make him go back. Just slap a power restraining collar on him and send him right on back...
So, I shot one of those fucking pedophiles right in the head and the X-men let both of us get sent to the Ice Box. Do you know what happens when I get a power restraining collar put on me? I die. Slowly. Painfully.
[As much as he likes Colossus, that did really hurt. How easy it had been for him to allow that. Even if it had been what Wade wanted at the time.]
I don't want high minded morals.
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Also aware he's being pretty unfair to Logan - not like Logan's stupid or idealistic, just maybe found some hope again on that island. It's complicated. ]
Yeah. That kind of thing. Over and over and over again. I know exactly what's those people are thinking and why. I just... don't have the capacity anymore.
[ No win, though, because he definitely hates who he is now. And who he was. Does have a Plan if Deadpool ends up with his powers completely turned off, though. ]
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[ Because that was you too, Wilson.]
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[And now she's dead. There's the others, his new F-word. Cable, Domino, Colossus, NTW, Yukio, Russell, and hell Dophinder and Weasel too. But she'd been his dreams.]
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[ Also he's pretty sure after what happened with Cable - and his own dad - he just. He'd be such an absolute shit parent. He's not doing that to a kid. Beyond the kids he already has or had, in some other universe or otherwise. ]
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Regardless. I think what I was trying to say is I'm not sure I have the capacity to maintain being a Hero™. Capitalized and trademarked. Whatever the fuck being a hero even means. I keep fooling myself into trying. Because it does sound like a nice ideal, but fuck. Sometimes people just need to be dead and being the bigger person is stupid.
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It's also not untrue.]
Yeah. Letting people live is sometimes really tactically unsound, and probably not even all that moral. Still a lot more comfortable than the alternative, but sometimes you've just got to do what needs to be done.
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