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[fourthwalled]

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[overconfidently]

think you're going to need to explain that one.

[fourthwalled]

oh just the city's latest plot device.
something from my past following me around.
don't really wanna talk about it.

[Wade prefers to talk about things that don't matter, thank you very much.]

[overconfidently]

why not?

[fourthwalled]

why?
do you want to tell me about one of the lowest points in your entire life?
i'm guessing not.
i'd rather drink myself stupid with the liquor at Scratch that can actually do it now that i have my healing back.

[overconfidently]

that's not going to fix anything.

[fourthwalled]

not trying to.
can't be fixed.
unless the after-credits were actually canon.

[overconfidently]

so what are you going to do then? try and get drunk?

[fourthwalled]

drink and put all that pain down into the hole where all the rest goes
where I try and pretend it doesn't exist.
simple!

[overconfidently]

it doesn't work that way.

[fourthwalled]

enlighten me.
how does it work?

[overconfidently]

you can talk to me.

[fourthwalled]

you wanna talk about it.
i'll be at scratch.
not doing it on here

[overconfidently]

fine. i know where it is.

>action

[fourthwalled]

[Wade doesn't respond, he just does precisely what he says he would.

Nate will find him sitting at a table in a dark corner of Scratch, a pitcher of some cocktail or another sitting in front of him. He'd not bothered with getting a glass. Instead, there's just a straw right in the pitcher. Next to it is an innocuous-seeming cream cheese spreader stabbed into the table.]

[overconfidently]

( it doesn't take him long to locate the other [perks of being a telepath] and he's been to the scratch before, knowing akihiro works here. he's dressed like he always is and one day, he's going to steal get himself some new threads but that's not on his list of priorities currently.

hands stuffed in his pockets, he comes up beside the table, strands of white hair falling in front of his face as he stands there, head tilted, just taking in the sight of the other. )

Hey, hot stuff. Buy you another?

( nothing like a friendly ice breaker. )

[fourthwalled]

[He looks up from his spot, tearing his eyes away from the knife to look up at Nate. 'Hot Stuff'. Cable likes to call him 'handsome. He can't help but notice the similarities. It's damn near fucking impossible not to. He's like Cable in a lot of ways, but still very much not in others.

Like the fact that when Nate approaches he looks like he's stepped right out of a goddamn 90's boy band poster, with that tilted head and white lock half-covering his eyes.]

Once I finish this one, absolutely. I never pass up a free drink.

[overconfidently]

( slipping into the chair across from wade, he removes his hands from his pockets and stretches his long legs out beneath the table. tossing a glance around the place, it eventually lands on the utensil there on the table that clearly doesn't come with the place and he looks back up to wade then. )

Would this be easier if people couldn't see us?

( because he can make that happen. )

[fourthwalled]

Not sure anything would make it easier, but... I dunno, maybe?

[He leans forward to slide his pitcher closer to sip from it. Wade would much prefer not to talk about this at all, but Nate had to be all persistent and stubborn about it.]

[overconfidently]

( he eyes the other mutant - watches the way he slowly pulls that pitcher in close to sip from it, then throws a look around them. it's subtle - not anything that wade or anyone would pick up on, but with just the thought of his mind, he makes it so neither of them are visible to the patrons of the scratch... until he decides to make them look like two burly looking guys who shouldn't be dealt with and just, you know, goes with that.

arms folding, his attention falls completely onto wade and only wade. )

So what's going on?

[fourthwalled]

It's this city trying to find every which way to fuck me. I just wish they'd stick with the fun ways. Rather than bring in the traumatizing ones.

[He stares into his pitcher, not even looking at Nate so even if what he'd done to shield them had been some elaborate display, Wade probably wouldn't have noticed that either.]

That cheese spreader is a reminder of my failure. A reminder that I couldn't save her.

[overconfidently]

( he listens as wade [reluctantly] explains — gives him insight into what's so heavy there on his shoulders that this place has made even heavier for him to have to carry. he knows the gist of it from that time when wade was, well, dying essentially, thanks to being depowered and all and it's why he doesn't bother to ask for clarity on what he's referring to.

instead, he's quiet, gaze lingering there on the cheese spreader. )

Have you forgiven yourself for that?

cw: suicidal ideation

[fourthwalled]

I don't know that I'd say forgiven, but I've stopped trying to actively join her. That's progress. [He clears his throat.] There were some gang members I'd been trying to kill. Mercenary work. I didn't manage to get them all. So they tracked me down to our apartment.

Thought I got them all. There was one last one... and that-- [His eyes fall on the spreader.] was my last weapon. I missed. And he shot her. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Vanessa. She was just gone.

[overconfidently]

( even without combing his fingers through wade's thoughts, he can almost see exactly what it is he tells him — can practically relate to it, unfortunately, and that has him feeling so much sympathy — genuine sympathy alongside a tidal wave of his own guilt and grief for not saving the person he cared about most. for you to be the target and someone else just getting in the way. the man who had taken him in and raised him as if he were his son. he knows that pain and he wishes wade didn't.

he looks to the spreader that wade himself looks at and he almost lifts it with his mind — almost breaks it apart atom by atom until there's nothing left of it, but. he refrains. instead, he looks up to wade and beneath the table, he gently nudges the other's foot with the tip of his. )

I don't think you'll ever not miss her. I think... it might be softer some days... then sharp others. But it'll always be there. Because you'll always love her.

( gently, he offers him a smile, even if it falls a little. )

[fourthwalled]

[He blinks when Nate nudges his foot with his and so he nudges it right back. Footsie under the table while talking about trauma. He's on board. That might not have been Nate's intention, but it's how Wade is reading it. He takes a long sip of his drink, sinking deeper into his seat. Wade is sad for himself, but the tone of Nate and the words ping something else. For as much as Wade acts like a fool, he's observant when he cares to be.]

Who'd you lose? [Because yeah, it sounded to him like he's speaking from experience.]

[overconfidently]

( blue eyes lift to meet wade's eyes for just a second before they drop their gaze back down to the table, foot nudging at wade's again. he hasn't talked about this to anyone — figures scott and the others just know with already knowing him and he's not here to talk about himself — he's here for wade and to listen to what he needs to say, but. he figures... supposes... )

Forge.

( does wade even know [of] him? regardless, nate continues. )

When I escaped from the pens, he found me and took me in. He was the closest thing I had to a father.

( which is why being here, in this place, with his biological father is... strange. difficult. something he's still trying to figure out. he wasn't raised by scott — scott didn't raise him as one of his own and yet, he thinks of him as his son... scott himself feels like family to nate. so does jean.

reaching out with a hand, he pulls the spreader over to him with his mind and rolls it over between his fingers, looking to it. )

It's my fault he's dead because people wanted me to be their weapon.

( so he gets it, even if the situations are a little different. he stills gets that feeling of guilt and grief for letting someone down.

lifting the spreader up then, he looks to wade again. )

Do you want me to get rid of it for you?