[It seems like Scott's not going to stop him, so he grasps Scott's shoulder tight with his free hand and presses in the knife, skin starting to split around the blade. He doesn't go too deep but needs to make sure it's enough depth to stick and scar properly once it heals. He starts to bring it down for the first strike of the X, concentrating and slow, not wanting to make a mistake.]
She stuck with me. We met before all-- everything.
[Before he became what he became. He finishes the first slash, noting the blood and how it's flowing down Scott's chest. But he's not asked him to stop, so he'll keep going, moving on to the final slash.]
Tried everything to help save me when I got sick. And when I got all scarred. I thought she'd want nothing to do with me. She did though. She could match me in any stupid conversations... we were talking about having kids together. Kids.
[ Scott has had a lot worse than a couple of cuts with a sharp knife, and had a lot less say in what was being done to him. This won't leave the prettiest mark, but it'll be what he needs it to be. ]
[It's a relatively simple little X, so it's not going to take long. Perhaps he should have sterilized the knife rather than simply snatching it out of the drawer. Ah, well. What's a little infection between Dom and Sub?]
Thirty-eight or so. Or at least that's how old Ryan Reynolds was when they filmed my first movie.
About four years. [He pulls the knife back and leans back to have a look. It's an 'X' that's for sure. Not exactly the work of a master artist but it's an 'X'.]
[He takes the knife to the sink and drops it in, washing his hands before wiping them off on his pants. It's all to distract himself and to put some distance between the words coming out of his mouth and how he feels about them.]
[ Scott heads to the sink behind Wilson - even touches the middle of his back. The purpose appears, at least, practical. He has blood all over his chest. He's still bleeding, actually. ]
I was already with Emma when we lost Jean. [ Near enough, anyway. ] I never stopped loving her and I certainly never got over it -- but it eventually gets easier to breathe.
[Her catches a growing hardness in his throat when the hand lands on his back, forcing it back down to steady himself.]
I've stopped trying to kill myself. So that's an improvement. [That's not to say he did a whole lot to try and keep from getting hurt, even still. He just stopped drinking drainer fluid and jumping into lion exhibits.] I'll get you a towel. And the first aid kit.
[ He has more to say, but it can wait while Wade gets the first-aid kit. He just leans back and waits. Turns over words in his head, wonders if he's going to say anything else meaningful or let it go.
He wants to let it go.
That means he shouldn't, so when Wade comes back. ]
The last time I saw Logan before he came here, I tried really hard to get him to kill me. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm still suicidal.
[ He uses one hand to get the first aid box and to decide if he's going to answer that. Offering a point of connection and understanding to Wade was one thing. Answering that feels like more than that.
Also, to answer it he has to really think about it. That's... not a thing he really wants to do. ]
I'm not trying to die. I'm pretty ticked off that no one on happy family island stays dead. I'm sure you can relate.
[ He has got to figure out who the shit he is without the x-men though. Cyclops doesn't work here and it doesn't feel like Scott exists anymore and - ]
[Wade sets the bloodied towel on the counter. They'll have to clean up the entire place once they're done. Seeing as Scott left more than a little blood in his wake from the chair to the sink.]
If you want to keep talking about me, I'm not sure what the hell else to say about it. My life sucks and it always will. But then, I guess yours will too. It's just how our characters work. Writers love to shit on us and watch us squirm.
Yeah, I brought it up because I'm pissed off that your life sucks and I'm trying to relate.
[ Dry and wry, he tosses one of those alcohol wipe packs to Wade. ] Open that for me. [ While he opens another one. ] Apparently my life stops sucking at some point, I get well adjusted and life's fine.
[He snatches it against his chest, then starts to tear it open before handing him the wipe when he's ready for it.]
And I'm sure there are going to be small parts of my life that aren't going to absolutely suck giant donkey balls but it always comes back around. Usually because of something I do, but--
[ He rolls his eyes a little, but. The contact's good for both of them. Mostly Wade. He's noticed. This is a thing he can do, even if that beaming smile's a little too... high wattage.
go forth, wade. Scott's gonna go sit on the couch. ]
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He wishes he empathized with that, but he empathizes strongly and he's way less of a jerk than he thought he was because he sympathizes, too.
He doesn't say anything, though the reason he's still standing there while Wilson points a knife at him changes.
He reaches up, moves the knife slightly and then nods. ]
Right there.
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What was she like?
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[Before he became what he became. He finishes the first slash, noting the blood and how it's flowing down Scott's chest. But he's not asked him to stop, so he'll keep going, moving on to the final slash.]
Tried everything to help save me when I got sick. And when I got all scarred. I thought she'd want nothing to do with me. She did though. She could match me in any stupid conversations... we were talking about having kids together. Kids.
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How old were you when you got sick?
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Thirty-eight or so. Or at least that's how old Ryan Reynolds was when they filmed my first movie.
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[ He just... rolls with this stuff, now. Also he has a first aid kit, somewhere, he's pretty sure he can throw some alcohol on it and not die. ]
How long were you with her?
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Put that in the sink. How long's she been gone?
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Not long. Few months before I got here.
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I was already with Emma when we lost Jean. [ Near enough, anyway. ] I never stopped loving her and I certainly never got over it -- but it eventually gets easier to breathe.
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I've stopped trying to kill myself. So that's an improvement. [That's not to say he did a whole lot to try and keep from getting hurt, even still. He just stopped drinking drainer fluid and jumping into lion exhibits.] I'll get you a towel. And the first aid kit.
[He moves to go to the bathroom.]
CW: suicidal ideation.
He wants to let it go.
That means he shouldn't, so when Wade comes back. ]
The last time I saw Logan before he came here, I tried really hard to get him to kill me. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm still suicidal.
Re: CW: suicidal ideation.
Re: CW: suicidal ideation.
Also, to answer it he has to really think about it. That's... not a thing he really wants to do. ]
I'm not trying to die. I'm pretty ticked off that no one on happy family island stays dead. I'm sure you can relate.
[ He has got to figure out who the shit he is without the x-men though. Cyclops doesn't work here and it doesn't feel like Scott exists anymore and - ]
This really isn't supposed to be about me, Wade.
Re: CW: suicidal ideation.
[Wade sets the bloodied towel on the counter. They'll have to clean up the entire place once they're done. Seeing as Scott left more than a little blood in his wake from the chair to the sink.]
If you want to keep talking about me, I'm not sure what the hell else to say about it. My life sucks and it always will. But then, I guess yours will too. It's just how our characters work. Writers love to shit on us and watch us squirm.
Re: CW: suicidal ideation.
[ Dry and wry, he tosses one of those alcohol wipe packs to Wade. ] Open that for me. [ While he opens another one. ] Apparently my life stops sucking at some point, I get well adjusted and life's fine.
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And I'm sure there are going to be small parts of my life that aren't going to absolutely suck giant donkey balls but it always comes back around. Usually because of something I do, but--
[Shrug!]
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[ That he just rolls with that, without any real trouble says a lot about his life and how much weird is in it. ]
"What is, is." [ Askani thing. He misses Rachel. ] Let's go drink on the couch. I'll pet your head.
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go forth, wade. Scott's gonna go sit on the couch. ]